The 5 Laws of Strip Club Etiquette
Don’t be a douche when you go to the strip club. Just follow these 5 rules and you’ll be ok.
- Dress code. For the love of God, don’t wear sweatpants, athletic shorts, or thin pants with an obvious lack of underwear. There’s one of two situations you’re getting into: It’s not that kind of place, and your dancer will stay far away from your sweatpants boner, or it is that kind of place, and the kind of pants you wear don’t matter.
- Tip like a baller. Remember that, yes, it’s about the money, and tip accordingly. If you aren’t prepared to simultaneously enjoy yourself and pay us — just like a massage therapist, hairdresser, or any other personal service provider — stay home. In all clubs, we pay to work there and anywhere from 15 to 50 percent of the take goes to the club. Covering that cut with generous tips for our private dances, stage shows, or champagne rooms will endear you to us endlessly and guarantee preferential treatment.
- Ask for permission, not forgiveness. No one is ever so naked or so friendly that her consent doesn’t matter, and this applies in commercial interactions just as much as it does in personal ones. “Family Guy” episodes and Bloodhound Gang songs aside, your stripper is a performer and a human being who’ll tell you yes or no. The bottom line is the bottom line. Customers will often spend more if they can touch, so we’ll make sure you know when, where, and for how much.
- Don’t ask for sexual acts. I’m not going to lie, in some places there is sex in the champagne room. Not in most strip clubs, but in some, and if it’s available, you’ll know, because it will be offered to you at a high, high price. If it’s not, you might have a pissed-off stripper or bouncer to contend with, especially in areas where vice stings are known to happen. And I’m not going to give any advice on how to do illegal things, but think with the big head. Don’t get yourself ripped off or rolled because you’re drunk and horny and believe anything.\
- Observe club norms. If everyone is setting tips down on the edge of the stage, don’t try to stick a dollar bill in the dancer’s thong. If they’re sliding bills into garters, you may not want to “make it rain.” I hate it when guys ball up bills and toss them at the stage, but, in some locales, due to minimum distance rules, it’s the normal way to tip dancers on stage. There are club rule variations from state to state, city to city, and club to club. Watch a little before participating.
Category: Life